WHY ME LORD?

As a man, I used to think I was pretty much just a regular person, but I was born white, into a two-parent, two-gender household which now,  whether I like it or not, makes me “Privileged”, a racist and responsible for slavery.

I am fiscal and moral, which by today’s standards, makes me a fascist because I plan, budget and support myself.

I went to School, worked my way “up the ladder”, and have always held a job. But I now find out that I am not here because I earned it, but because I was “advantaged”.

I am heterosexual, which according to “gay” folks, now makes me homophobic.

I am not a Muslim, which now labels me as an infidel.

I am older than 60, making me a useless person who doesn’t understand Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

I think and I reason, and I doubt much of what the “mainstream” media tells me, which makes me a “Right-wing conspiracy nut”.

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive Australian culture, making me a xenophobe.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I believe our system guarantees freedom of effort – not freedom of outcome or subsidies which must make me a borderline sociopath.

I believe in the defence and protection of Australia for and by all citizens, now making me a militant.

I am proud of our flag, what it stands for and the many who died to let it fly, so I stand during our National Anthem – so I must be a racist.

Please help me come to terms with the new me because I’m just not sure who I am anymore.

If all this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with, now I don’t even know which restroom to use… and I have to go more FREQUENTLY!